Braxton Taylor
Oops! You blew it. You thought your joke was clever and funny and when no one on your new team laughed (but a few people gasped), you realized you just landed a negative first impression on your first day on the job.
Do you run and hide? Quit? Pretend you actually speak another language (and the joke didn’t translate well)?
No. When something like this happens, it’s important to recognize that you tried to show your humorous and fun side to your new colleagues and it didn’t land right. There is a way forward — but the work is yours to do.
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A first impression is important because it’s when people form early perceptions:
- Does she seem smart?
- Will he be someone I can go to with a question?
- Are they after my job?
- Can I work with him?
Perceptions matter because — right or wrong — it’s what we believe is true. We perceive people and form opinions about who they are and what they stand for, based on our interactions and experiences with them.
Using the example above, here’s what you could do:
1. Move Forward and Say Nothing
Over time, your team will see you as you are, and if humor is part of your brand and personality, they’ll come to appreciate it (or you’ll be told to tame it a bit). If humor isn’t something you bring to most conversations, and the poor joke was a one-off, then know that you tried something different and it didn’t work. Learn from that experience and refrain from repeating it.
2. Apologize and Move on
Publicly (to the team) or one on one, you could share your regret for sharing such a joke. If the joke was potentially offensive, you might have other issues: Human resources could contact you to remind you of company policies regarding harassment. After you apologize, try to act as “normal” as possible, given that this is a new job and so much is unfamiliar. Over time, and if you don’t repeat the mistake, your team should receive you as a professional who’s there to work.
3. Apologize and Explain
If your sense of humor is a defining aspect of your personal brand and personality, and refraining from sharing jokes would feel disingenuous, you could apologize and clarify that the joke wasn’t intended to upset anyone. Share that humor is how you build community and teams.
You can explain that your sense of humor is typically well-received by your peers and colleagues, and this joke was obviously the wrong one to start off with. Then as you share appropriate humor in meetings and conversations, ensure you’re not doing it to distract or disrupt. Sometimes humor can diffuse tension or add levity, which is much appreciated in heated situations. When not appropriate, however, it diminishes your credibility and sincerity.
Repairing a negative first impression can take time, intention and effort. You’ll need to show your team that you’re not an offensive or inappropriate person and that you take your work seriously. You may need to have individual conversations with key stakeholders (such as your boss and your direct reports) to reassure them that you’re a committed member of the group and clarify your intentions and humor.
As you repeatedly demonstrate who you are and what you stand for — anchoring your actions in your values — you can earn their trust and respect.
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