How to Lead if You Don’t Want to Be the Boss

by Braxton Taylor

It’s been said many times that the U.S. military is the greatest leadership institution in the world. And when you exit the military, your commitment to serve and lead likely remains, long after the uniform comes off.

But what if you don’t want to be “in charge,” the boss or the manager? Can you still lead without positional authority in your civilian career?

The answer is a resounding yes! Luckily, we see examples today across all industries, sectors, companies and organizations of individuals creating significant influence and driving change when they lack the rank or title that would seemingly accompany their impact. Online and in person, the old narrative that authority creates leadership is outdated, and today, you can lead without having the “boss title.”

In my book, “The New Rules of Influence,” I offer this insight into the migration of thinking around positional authority toward impact: “To see someone make the shift from ‘boss’ to ‘leader’ is breathtaking! They learn to empower and embrace, to be empathetic and real, and to watch others succeed where they’ve failed.”

To be a leader who seeks to drive influence and lead others, consider:

1. Why Do You Want to Lead?

Being a leader is a noble calling. It goes well past managing and directing others to perform tasks. Leadership is empowering, inspiring, developing and allowing others to achieve a vision or mission.

Are you clear on why you want to lead? Is it because you believe in a calling greater than yourself? Do you believe in the power of the mission such that not leading others in that direction feels inexcusable?

When you’ve uncovered your “why” for leading, clarify what leadership means to you and your career, and how you’ll bring forward your commitment in ways that support your vision.

2. Who Do You Want to Lead?

Are you clear on who you’re most passionate about leading? Sometimes the mission drives the audience. For example, if your focus is on advancing education, particularly for those who traditionally haven’t had access, your audience will be more self-evident. If your job dictates that you grow a team to higher performance, then your audience corresponds closer to your work.

When you’ve identified your audience, you’ll need to know a lot about them: What they need, care about, are afraid of and how you can best serve them. Resist generalizing or letting your biases influence how you’ll lead them. Instead, ask questions, listen without judgment and be constantly learning how best to serve those you’ll ask to follow you.

3. How Will You Lead?

Some of the most valuable leadership qualities in the private sector are decisiveness, authenticity, consistency, agility and having a growth mindset. These qualities, when blended, seamlessly drive the credibility needed to ensure a vision is implemented, the inclusivity to see everyone in the room and the insight to know where the gaps in the vision are (or could be).

One of the hardest qualities to bring into your leadership is the ability to be authentic and let others really know you. You’ll be called upon to share your story, your vision and your passion, not solely relying on data or evidence to support your position. Can you do this?

4. Where Will You Lead?

For many leaders, the idea of being mindful of how visible they are, and how well their personal brand is articulated, feels counterintuitive. “If I’m a good leader, others will find me,” they say. 

But that’s not necessarily true. 

Leaders need to be seen — out front and noticed — to drive impact. While this does not mean being loud or bragging, it requires visibility so others know who’s driving the vision. Accountability and responsibility, along with a reputation for thoughtful and decisive leadership, ensure that the leader’s brand sustains over time.

Leadership is not about job title or rank. It’s about wanting — from every cell in your body — to help others succeed, grow and create change that supports a vision. As a veteran, you know these qualities well and can find opportunities to embody them in your post-military career.

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