Gold Star Spouse Fights for ‘Love Lives On Act’ Passage While Facing Remarriage Dilemma

The loss of a military member is hard enough for the family members they leave behind. A spouse, children, parents and siblings all bear the brunt of the pain and grief.

Gold star spouse Amber Sax, of Columbus, Ga., has tried to move forward after the active-duty death of her husband, Marine Capt. John Sax in 2022, by serving others through military advocacy and philanthropy. Simultaneously, she’s facing a huge government hurdle.

The Love Lives On Act of 2025 is a bipartisan, bicameral bill in Congress that lets surviving spouses of military members and veterans keep their survivor benefits if they remarry at any age.

“I’m engaged to remarry. I have two children,” Sax, 37, told Military.com in an interview. “My oldest wasn’t even 2 yet when John passed away, and my youngest was born 3 months later.

“It’s difficult because you’re wanting to provide the stability of a two-parent household, the kind of stability that comes from marriage, but I’ll be sacrificing the benefits that were paid for through John’s life—benefits that still allow him to provide for his children.”

Legislation Could End Military Remarriage Rule

Under rules instituted by the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA), a surviving spouse who remarries before age 55 generally becomes ineligible for military benefits earned by a deceased military member.

Those benefits may include financial compensation, health care, home loans and other special rights or advantages for the spouse and their children.

Sax stands to lose those benefits the day she ties the knot again, unless the Love Lives On Act—part of a package of military-related benefit bills known as the Take Care of America’s Veterans Act, or TCAVA—is approved by Congress and signed into law.

That sweeping legislation has been widely maligned by some veterans and veterans service organizations for reasons not tied to the Love Lives On Act, notably a provision affecting veteran benefits through what is known as Section 108—effectively establishing new disability rating criteria for future claims involving sleep apnea and tinnitus, by applying future claims rather than reducing existing ratings.

“John wanted the girls to be raised with a father figure in their life that was very important to him,” Sax said. “He also had the belief that if anything were to happen to him, that I would be able to financially support the girls because we would be taken care of by his benefits.

“I’m just kind of in the middle of this predicament where I have to make a decision, or the Love Lives on Act needs to be passed.”

TCAVA, or Take Care of America’s Veterans Act, combines more than 60 separate veteran-related bills into a single omnibus measure.

Sax is doing her part to advocate for the Live Lives On Act ahead of Gold Star Mother’s and Family Day on Sept. 27, by raising awareness, visiting lawmakers on Capitol Hill, and writing blog posts on Gold Star issues.

“Basically, there’s about 35,000 surviving spouses under the age of 55 that would be able to retain benefits, if they chose to remarry,” she said. “Right now, only about 5% of military widows choose to legally remarry because of the loss of benefits.

“I don’t know a single military widow that meets somebody and starts their new life with this person that isn’t carrying this predicament for the rest of their life.”

Honoring Husband’s Legacy Through Service

Even before legislation like the TCAVA or Love Lives On Act were introduced, Sax felt the need to honor her late husband’s legacy through service.

He was killed in a pre-deployment training mission while piloting an MV 22B Osprey, a troubled military transport aircraft that has led to more than 60 deaths during major accidents.

Sax now runs the Captain Sax Foundation to provide aviation scholarships to students in support of the future of flight.

“We have issued more than $100,000 in scholarships to date, for those pursuing any sort of path related to aviation,” Sax said. “I’m grateful to be able to do that to honor John and carry on his name.”

But seeing through the passage of the Love Lives on Act, and the various other bills in the TCAVA legislation, would be a win for Sax and the many other Gold Star spouses who’ve lost their partners—and potentially stand to lose even more.

“It’s something that needs to be reevaluated,” she added. “Think of the religious aspects of it. There are many military widows that don’t even feel like they can just move in with their new partner and cohabitate and raise children together without being married.

“It’s just an outdated policy that should have been revisited a long time ago.”